I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
