you guys were way drunker than both of me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
