When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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