if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
