whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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