have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
