Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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