I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
