Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
