Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize