Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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