So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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