tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
