He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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