dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
