i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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