so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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