You're completely useless in the revolution.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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