White coat. Heels.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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