Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
