Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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