so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
