then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
