Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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