Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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