new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
