Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
