I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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