Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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