My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just invented taco cereal.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
