Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He shit in the fireplace
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
