I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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