The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
