i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
