just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
