she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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