Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
