i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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