We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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