Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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