I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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