its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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