Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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