I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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