Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
