hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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