so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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