I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
