so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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