I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize