the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
