she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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