Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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