He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
