these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
