Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
