I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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