We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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