i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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