Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
