and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
