Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
